Eyes Wide Open

I have so many other things I need to be doing right now, but so many thoughts are whirling around in my head that I have to write them out. My boyfriend and I broke up Saturday night. I am crushed because even though we were not together for a long time, everything seemed to fit. Except for one thing....I highly question whether he is a Christian. He says he is a good person but had never read the Bible. How could I have disregarded the most important element in a healthy relationship? I desire to have God as the focal point of my relationships but how could I have been so blinded? I assumed he was a Christian and little was said about it in the beginning and now I am questioning whether I just heard what I wanted to hear when we talked about it the first time. We had a pretty revealing converstation Saturday night and hearing him talk just made me sad and hurt for him. He is one of the most selfless, amazing men I have met and to not know the one, true God hurts me. But beyond that, one thing that he said STUCK with me and I have not been able to get it out of my head. He said, "I did not know you were that religious. I had no clue you ready your Bible every day." Wow...I am ashamed that I fit in so well as a non-believer, that my life and my actions did not reflect that of a follower of Christ. We are to be set apart and I fit right in... I miss him, and I am hurting, but I am glad God used this to open my eyes to how I have been living. That my actions do not reflect my heart...and I am sadly a walking contradiction; a hypocrite.